The lack of happiness, the stress. I’m tired of feeling like a failure, like a disappointment. Call me selfish, but all I want is to be happy, and nowadays it seems that happiness is so hard to come by. I hate it. I find myself worrying and stressing over everything, even the little stupid things. I just want to be happy, that’s all.
I hate it when people ask me this. Yeah, some people say this as a compliment, but sometimes to my ears, it’s a slap in the face. Why am I still single? I don’t know. Stop asking.
Waiting for my homework to magically do itself.
[video]
Buy gum. Everyone becomes your best friend. Bitches love gum.
I find texting excessively boring and a huge hassle. So, if I text you continuously, in multiple words, with smiley faces and shit. You’re something special, seriously.
Like the Griffith Observatory, it’s on top of a mountain. A view of all of LA. Waste the day away sightseeing and whatnot. And spend the night in the courtyard under the stars. I don’t know, but that sounds like a night to remember to me.
Is not knowing what you did wrong. Nothing is right, and you feel it was all your fault, even though you didn’t know what you did in the first place. It fucking sucks, you don’t what you did wrong, so you don’t know how to fix it. You want to make everything okay, but you don’t have a clue on how to do so. I swear, it seems like I mess everything up. I just want to do something right for once.
For once, I just want to be happy. No worries, no stress, just consistent happiness. As teenagers, we tend to find problems in everyday life. Sometimes it’s inevitable, it’s unhealthy. I want to be able to go throughout the with genuine smiles from beginning to end. I just want to be happy, that’s all.
Some people worry so much about pleasing others, that they forget that they too, are a person. A person who has needs, who has feelings, a person. They too need to be satisfied, they too need to be happy. When they spend their whole time doing things, and being someone who meets the needs of others, they find themselves in an instance in which there is no more happiness left for themselves, and they end up morose and sorrowful. Sometimes it’s okay to put yourself first, because in the end it’s just you.
Now, I’m not saying to be selfish, I’m saying that it’s pointless to make every single human being on the world smile, if you are empty inside. Yes, making people happy is satisfying, and sometimes it may seem that your job on this world to do so. But you need to be happy too, realize it. If you can make people smile with a genuine smile on your face, then kudos to you.
But to those who dedicate their whole day pleasing others, as if it were a job. A job, that they feel obliged to fulfill. Stop, put yourself first for once.
Just be happy, that’s all.
Even after you think you’ve moved on. It gives you the feeling that you weren’t good enough. The idea of someone doing better than me when it comes to you, it just makes me feel like shit. I know it was best to move on, but still, being replaced like a worn out old toy, it sucks.
I’m tired of trying, and getting nothing in return. It sucks, putting everything I have out there for you, and seeing no response whatsoever. At times, I wish you’d straight up tell me to stop trying, so then I’d have a reason to. But, all I got was nothing. So here I am, again. Trying, and trying. And I have a feeling I won’t stop till you tell me to, or until I get what I want.
[video]
I learned to believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that in the end you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you learn appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so you soon learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.